Is continuing to move forward healing? It is my opinion that moving forward is not healing. It is a belief of most people, especially women, that if one does not continue to move forward then one will appear to be weak… and a weak woman, especially a weak BLACK WOMAN, will not cut it… BULLSHIT…. anyone, especially women, who does not take the time to stop and heal wounded parts of themselves WILL SELF DESTRUCT… you will begin to allow your feelings to make all of the decisions in your life (and yes no matter how hard you try not to have feelings you have feelings… EVERYONE DOES except for psychopaths) You will begin to be reactive instead of proactive… which eventually will cause spillage over everything and everyone you will come in contact with…. moving forward makes you defensive which makes it difficult for anyone to help/support you… moving forward makes you feel like you are in control but in actuality, you are not… you have to stop and heal… NOT TO BE SAD OR DEPRESSED…. but you have to stop to heal… a broken leg will not heal if it is not tended to properly. You have to take inventory of your feelings, emotions , and your mental health… you have to evaluate the situation and deal with it before it deals with you.
The sayings, “I will not let this situation get the best of me.” and “Life goes on.”, only hinders you from beginning the healing process. Yes, you shouldn’t allow anything to get the best of you and life does go on, however, if you want to truly live life freely and peacefully you have to stop to heal those bleeding wounds. Truth is , the situation is already getting the best of you because it’s turning you into another person… into the exact person that you are trying so desperately not to become… bitter, angry, miserable.
I know what you are thinking… Why do I want people to be sad because we all know that in the stages of healing properly there are going to be times when we will be sad and depressed, right? However, it’s not that I want people to be sad or depressed, it’s the exact opposite… I want people to take this time to be one with their emotions, to validate them because they are real… to understand that situation that truly hurt them… it is extremely important to always, always look inward and correct your mistakes in those moments… taking inventory of the prerequisites that led up to the hurtful situation or situations… have that conversation with yourself. Once a person is able to identify the real issue or issues, they can begin the healing process.
I know the next question is, “When folks stop to heal, what should they do next?” When you stop to heal it is very important to be very intentional with what wounds you want to heal first… you have to be very intentional with the people you allow into your healing process… BECAUSE THERE, IN THAT PLACE, IS WHERE YOUR DEMON LAY… you have to meditate and pray for understanding of the why this happened and the lesson it is supposed to teach you. LONG STORY SHORT, YOU GOTTA INVITE GOD TO GET DOWN IN THAT PLACE WITH YOU…. it is dark in that place… it is lonely in that place but when you allow God to get down in that place with you, His light will serve as a flashlight to guide you out of there… He will be your company… keeping you safe and sane… He will protect you in that place (the Healing Zone). No, you may not have happiness in the zone… you may not have joy in the zone… but I promise you if you stop and allow God into your “HEALING ZONE”, you will have peace and that’s worth more than gold.
We cannot continue to just move forward, we have to stop and heal because once we PROPERLY heal we become a blueprint for others when they decide to begin their healing journey.
The Chic Educator 🍎